What is anxiety?
Anxiety is something that people are increasingly becoming aware of and is sadly on the rise in both children and adults, even more so since the Covid-19 pandemic. According to young minds, in July 2020 one in six children aged 5-16 were identified as having a probable mental health problem, this is a huge increase from one in 9 in 2017! Evidence also shows that 80% of young people with mental health needs agree that their mental has been made worse by the pandemic.
In certain situations, we can, especially new and unexpected ones, feel anxious and worried. These are normal feelings and our bodies way of dealing with perceived risky or dangerous situations with a ‘fight or fight’ response. If your anxious feelings continue over long periods of time, or affect your everyday life, this could be an anxiety disorder.
During an anxiety attack our brains are going into protective mode and send signals to our body to make us feel a certain way, such as, stomach pains,
feeling sick, breathing problems and many more.
Symptoms of anxiety may not only be physical, but
they can also be mental symptoms too, such as,
trouble sleeping, uncontrollable overthinking, feeling
irritable or trouble concentrating. Symptoms can vary
between each person, it’s important to remember
that everyone’s experiences of anxiety are different and the way in which they manage their symptoms may be different too. What works for one person may not work for another.
Our behaviours are stored in the unconscious brain – this can be useful as you don’t have to think about how you feel which can save a lot of time but can also be a problem if you keep doing something you don’t want to do, which, in the case of anxiety are the symptoms I mentioned just now.
Types of anxiety
There are many types of anxiety disorder, the most common are:
· Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – Excessive worrying about events and different activities is the main symptom of GAD. Those with GAD may feel anxious a lot of the time and find it affects most areas of your life.
· Social Anxiety Disorder – This is an intense fear or dread of various social situations. Social anxiety disorder can happen before, during or after an event.
· Phobias – Symptoms of phobias may not arise until you come into contact with the source of your phobia, however, in some cases just thinking about it can cause us to become anxious or panicky.
· Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Split into two main parts, obsessions are unwanted urges, thoughts or worries that appear repeatedly in your mind. Compulsions are activities that you carry out repeatedly to try and reduce the anxiety, which is caused by the obsession, these could be repeatedly checking the windows are shut or repeating specific words or phrases in your head.
· Separation Anxiety – As children develop it is normal for them to go through stages of being ‘clingy’. When a child or young person is regularly experiencing anxiety when being separated from their parent/carer, and it is causing them to disengage with normal activities, such as, attending school or social events, it is likely they have separation anxiety.
What causes anxiety?
Due to everyone’s experience of anxiety being very different it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly the cause. As children grow, they can experience anxiety in a range of ways, many of which are normal and part of them growing up.
At the age of around 6 months to 3 years children can develop separation anxiety when being separated from their parents or caregivers, for this age group, this is a very common part of their development and only lasts a short period of time. During the pre-school age it is also normal for children to develop fears and phobias, common ones are, spiders, the dark, animals and insects, over time usually these gradually go away.
Other reasons to cause anxiety in children and young people can be, before exams or tests, starting a new school, meeting new friends and other social situations. These are all part of a child’s development and are common in any age.
In most cases children and young people will need support from their parents, carers and peers and will most likely overcome these problems themselves, but occasionally their anxiety can develop into more of a problem for them and interfere with their everyday life.
If a child or young person doesn’t outgrow their fear, phobia or worry and it begins to affect their lives, this may be an anxiety disorder and they may need help and support from a professional as well as their friends and family.
Other causes of anxiety can be:
· Genetics – Those with family members who have an anxiety disorder are at a greater risk of developing one too.
· Trauma – When we go through a difficult experience, such as, physical or mental abuse, bullying, the loss of a loved one or neglect these can trigger anxiety problems.
· Peer Pressure – Many children and young people, and adults too, feel pressured into trying to ‘fit in’ with their peers, even if this means doing something that they are aware isn’t right or kind. Anxiety can develop through the onslaught of peer pressure.
· High Expectations – Children and young people often set such high unrealistic expectations that they make it impossible for themselves to achieve them and feel a sense of failure when they can’t accomplish them.
· Sleep Deprivation – Sleep deprivation can cause anxiety and anxiety can cause us to struggle to sleep, when these two go together it can turn into a vicious circle that can be hard to break.
· Stress – Excessive stress from personal relationships, exams, school, or family can have a huge effect on anxiety.
Coping strategies for anxiety
Anxiety can be very difficult to live with but with the right support and by taking the proper steps it can be managed. Below are some suggestions for you to consider, remember that everyone’s anxiety is different and what works for someone else may not work for you.
· Recognising your triggers - sometimes writing down where you were, what you were doing, what you were thinking etc can be a great help to identifying the signs of anxiety.
· Breathing exercises – There are a range of breathing exercises that can help you feel more in control and able to cope. The NHS offers some tips on breathing exercises for stress at Breathing exercises for stress - NHS (www.nhs.uk).
· Challenging our thoughts - It can take some practice, but we are able to challenge and change how we react to our anxiety and reverse its role, to do this we can ask it certain questions like: ‘What is it protecting us from?’ and ‘do we actually need protecting from this?’ By asking these questions it can help change the outlook of what our anxiety is protecting us from!
· Writing a journal – This can be your safe space to write down your thoughts and feelings and can also be a way of spotting patterns in your triggers, it could also be a place where you can write down your positive experiences like what is going well and what are you grateful for. It’s important to recognise the good around you and be kind to yourself.
· Looking after your physical health – This doesn’t only include exercise but also your sleep and diet too. Finding motivation to do things can be difficult, especially on our bad days, but it’s always important to remember to never wait until you feel like doing something. It can be helpful to reach to others for support and also plan a head.
If you’ve tried the above but feel you may need some additional professional support, please get in touch on 07498 362473 or email: ami@nlp4kids.org and we can discuss how I can help you and or your child.
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